WORDPRESS has been giving us problems on this site so we moved everything over to a new site and added more. THANKS!
Please go to the new site by clicking here: http://www.SvaliSpeaks.com
Please go to the new site by clicking here: http://www.SvaliSpeaks.com
Please go to the new site by clicking here: http://www.SvaliSpeaks.com
Until recently, I have mainly written about programming and methods to work through and attempt to resolve it. But as I am working on my own healing, I am coming to realize that while breaking programming is important (and often life-saving), that eventually it becomes important to deal with core issues. Core issues go beneath and behind programming, and often not only drive it, but sabotage the therapy process as the survivor attempts to heal.
These issues will be different for each survivor, since we each have a unique history. I have received emails from survivors from around the world, and have found that: *The Illuminati is certainly not the only occult group in the world; there are many other well-organized groups that do methodic, repetitive abuse of an occult nature. But in these groups, often the core issues are different than for the Illuminati *Even within the Illuminati, each individual will need to discover their own personal history, since parentage, bloodlines, and programming methods will differ, as well as the child’s eventual role in the group. This article is not meant to address all methods, or all survivor’s histories in the group.
I can’t speak for everyone who was abused in the group; I can only speak of what I myself am discovering about my own personal history, in the hopes that it will help other survivors through either validation, or to help supporters better understand some of the issues that they face during the process of remembering and healing.
The Illuminati are based in Europe, which is where their power base has always been. I remember being told as a young child that America was basically considered their “mission field” or the “land of opportunity” by those whose roots extend for hundreds of years or more into the ancient European dynastic bloodlines.
This is why their power hierarchy around the world, whether in the U.S., Asia, Australia, Canada, or elsewhere will always point back to Europe, where the 13 rulers (they also call them “lords”) are based. Each ruler represents an area of Europe held under his sway; and each one represents an ancient dynastic bloodline.
For example, the Hapsburg bloodline (Merovingian) is still active in Europe, although hidden, as well as the Rothschild and Battenberg bloodlines . In many modern European countries, the heirs of these bloodlines are immensely wealthy, and secretly are the “power behind the throne”, if not the actual rulers.
This is one reason why those of high Illuminati rank/descent in the U.S., for example, can always trace their bloodline or parentage to members of this ruling cabal in Europe; members of leadership councils in the States are always direct descendants, whether legitimate or illegitimate.
Whether at the lowest levels, or the highest, though, this group operates with the same methods: instilling intense fear and terror to control their members. Often this is done through the fear of death, and at the core level, the person who has undergone their training will have an immense fear of dying because of the “death and resurrection” experiences, or near death experiences, that they have undergone.
During these experiences, the very young child or even infant core will be faced with intolerable choices: to allow themselves to be extinguished, or to embrace the demonic and the beliefs of those in their bloodline parentage. I believe this is dissociation at its deepest level, since the desire to survive is one of the deepest instincts that God has given us, and will override intellect, cognition, and even well-thought out beliefs in an adult-much less in a very young child. When faced with certain death and terror, or life, albeit at a price that is much too high, the infant or child almost always chooses life (I have never heard of one that hasn’t to date, although my own knowledge and experience are limited).
Then the one who offers life to the infant becomes their “savior”, and worshipped virtually as a deity in the child’s mind and heart for “saving” them in one of the most wicked set ups imaginable.
In many cases, this is one of the child’s parents, and most often, their biological father. The biological father may not be the person that the child consciously remembers raising them during childhood; and once again, this encourages deep dissociation: the consciously remembered “Daddy” may not be the survivor’s real father.
Identity confusion is also layered in. The name the child goes by during the daytime may be quite different from their “real” name, or even the name on their birth certificate. A child of high lineage may discover that they weren’t born in the United States, but in Europe, if the ties to the European bloodlines are great enough; or even that their American birth certificate was forged, to cover their European one.
Each situation is different, and different bloodlines practice different methods of raising, mentoring, and training their offspring. For instance, those of German descent may be taken to Germany, and spend time with those of this bloodline learning the ways of this country, and developing a loyalty to what they consider their “true homeland”, before going back to another country to live under a different identity. Because above all else, children are called back to their European roots at frequent intervals to develop loyalty to their family home and name, and to undergo ceremonies meant to instill terror and ongoing cooperation, alternated with loving bonding experiences meant to instill deep love for the parental figures.
A child may live in Japan, but they will always know that their true home is in Germany or France; the child in Canada may know that their true home is the U.K., or Russia, and the child in the U.S. will long to return to “home” in Europe with the loyalty that is instilled, whether “home” is Germany, Bavaria, France, Moscow, the UK, Spain, or another country ruled by one of the 13.
This terror, this training, and the bonds of not only loyalty, but caring and nurturing that the child experienced through their true parentage, are often the most difficult and insidious to break. Deep terror combined with loving rescue and nurture create deep loyalty through trauma bonding, and breaking these ties at the core level is the most difficult task that many survivors face.
My prayer is that by explaining some, it can help others know that this does occur, which is the first step to uncovering it and working on it. I believe that deep prayer and support from others are the only methods of both uncovering these ties, and of breaking their hold. I am still working on these issues, and welcome others to share their experiences of undoing the hold of loyalty at this core level to the original perpetrators, and of breaking the spiritual and emotional ties to them. I will be more than happy to publish here anonymously any articles on this topic, as an encouragement to others who are breaking ties to the power centers in Europe. Because, ultimately, these men must lose in their bid for power. Scripture tells us that there is only one king on the throne: Jesus Christ, and that eventually, even the European roots of the Illuminati and their coming “prince” or antichrist, will be cut down, when Christ reigns over the earth.
Blessings to you, Svali
Q: Can the Illuminati’s family trees be traced back to specific towns in Europe?
A: Yes, and this depends on the branch. There is the German branch, the French branch, the UK branch, and the Russian branch. Each has roots in different areas of Europe. The towns of central Germany and Austria were the beginning for the German branch. They trace their roots from the Knights Templar who united the European nations during the crusades.
Q: Do they consider the Christian God real, but a liar?
A: The Illuminati believe in the deification of men through knowledge. They know that there are supernatural beings who help them in this process, but they don’t necessarily divide things into “good and bad”, rather “enlightened” or “unenlightened”. They believe that the Christian God is real, but that adherents of Christianity are one step short of enlightenment, that they do not know the “full picture” as they do. They see Christians as sheep who follow a nice story created to help them feel better, because they are “too weak” to want to know the “full truth”. (This is what an illuminist would say in describing the difference). They tend to be cynical towards the Christian God, to see him as a placebo for the weak.
Q: Do they consider their own god a liar, even if for “good”? If so, how do they trust their god?
A: They do not consider their gods (they have several) as liars. These “gods” have given them power, wealth, status, and everything that they have asked for. Yes, at a price, a horrible price, but they believe that nothing comes cheaply, and the higher the price they have paid, the more they value the gift. It is hard to explain this type to thinking to someone outside the group, because mainstream society wants to see them as evil satanists, and opposed to Christianity. They themselves wouldn’t put it quite that way. Oh, they will mock and downgrade Christianity, but only because they want its followers to see that they are the ‘deceived ones”. The god of this world has truly blinded their eyes. Do they “trust” their gods? As much as they trust anything. Remember, trust is not a concept in this group, where “betrayal is the greatest good” is a maxim taught since childhood. If you asked them, do you”trust” your deity, they would look puzzled, and say, “only a foolish person trusts what they cannot know” or some other maxim.
Q: Do they consider the Christian God to be a God of naive love?
A: Yes, yes, very naive, and setting His followers up for a fall. This is the extent of their arrogance.
Q: If they use torture and terror on those they love who are of lower rank, how do they distinguish between love and hate?
A: They don’t. They tell their children as they are torturing them, “I am doing this because I love you.” To them, the greatest love is to make a child strong, and fit to lead or to move higher in the group, by whatever means it takes.
If a leader sees a child, and wants it as a prostitute, the loving parents will give it away, happy that their child will rise in status. Also, again, they view betrayal as the greatest good. They will do set up after set up to teach their children to never openly trust others.
I remember hundreds of agonizing set ups and betrayals, and hearing when I was betrayed or wounded, “And such is the heart of man.” Those doing this to me thought they were teaching me something of value, that would help me. And because of the vicious and political nature of the group, in one sense they were right; the naive get stepped on and wounded. I have known parents who tried to spare their children some of this out of love, but often they were overuled by other family members, who viewed these parents as “weak” and “unfit” to teach their child.
Q: Can you list their religious beliefs in some detail? e.g. re-incarnation? Heaven and hell? Sin? Absolution? Elves?
A: Which part? Spiritual has many branches, including: celtic druidism, rosicrucianism, Babylonian mystery religion, Egyptian mysteries, and traveling the planes. A child will have to learn each of these disciplines, and others, as part of their training. They also have theta, or psychic training, as well.
The Illuminati have taken the best (or worst) of each of these religions, and incorporated them. Also, there is NOT just ONE religion that every group follows. In Washington DC, my main trainers were celtic druids and adherents of babylonian mystery religion. In San Diego,the Egyptian mystery religion is emphasized, in part because Col. Aquinos oversees that group, and is heavily into Temple of Set.
Here is a brief overview, doing my best to incorporate these beliefs. They believe that reincarnation is possible, because of the time travel that they do, but they don’t emphasize it in their teachings. They believe in a final sphere of white light, which to them is total enlightenment, and their concept of heaven. They believe that they are immune from hell, which is for the unenlightened. Their concept of hell is different than the Bible’s; they believe that it means being lower and never reaching higher in the afterlife (they believe there are levels there, too, determined by how one progresses here on earth).
To them, sin is being weak or stupid, and not using the intelligence or abilities you were given, or failing to progress. I never heard any discussion of absolution. If you fail, you are punished or killed. That simple. There is some belief in elves, sprites, and other small beings in the druidic branch, who also see life in each of nature’s creations.
Q: Some researchers claim that various items that people are commonly exposed to in society are part of the means to weaken their enemies. Therefore, I wonder if the Illuminati allow their own leading members to be exposed to these, i.e. the following:
a. chlorine and fluoride in water and foods;
c. medical drugs;
d. junk food;
e. microwaved food;
f. dietary supplements;
h. mercury fillings;
A: In general, true leadership is protected from much of the above. They are ORDERED to not: drink, do drugs, or anything harmful to themselves. They don’t go as far as junk food or microwaved food, since they don’t worry about that, but at meetings, healthy food such as granola or trail mix are given out during exercises, and they know the importance of good nutrition.
They will NOT put their top leaders through the extensive use of mind control experimentation, or implants, etc. because of the risk involved. These children and adults ARE dissociative, but they go through a special program that is different than for the lower levels. They do get vaccines, since even if the child became ill, a healer could fix them. And they do take medications if needed, such as antibiotics, etc.
Do they claim to use vaccines or medical drugs for genocide? I had not heard that when I was in the group. Everyone I knew was vaccinated and took medications, although vitamins and good diet were also important.
Q: Some claim that Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Charismatics, Pagans, the New Age Movement, Satanists, etc. were founded by the same plotters. Are these groups, or at least their leaders, considered allies of the Illuminati by their members?
A: Some of these groups have affiliated themselves secretly with the Illuminati (because of the money and free training offered), others are sympathetic, or at the least, respectful of them. The Mormons affiliated years ago in a meeting with Illuminati leadership in the 1950s. The same with the Jehovah’s Witnesses. I have not heard that Charismatics or Pagans were affiliated, the pagans are considered “dabblers” by the Illuminati. The New Age and Satanists are sympathetic to them.
Q: Do they respect real science or history in favor of “faith” in their own beliefs?
A: No. They will respect science, but they will try to rewrite history in set ups and dramas for children (where they purport to show them “real history” behind the scenes). Also, they will do time travel through portals, but I cannot say how accurate what occurs is, since I believe it is facilitated demonically.
The Illuminati teach their children that powerful occultists who were enlightened have been secretly behind the thrones of Europe, and down the ages behind the kingdoms of this world, since time began. True or propaganda? I don’t know. They teach their children that underneath Stonehenge there is a great room filled with the skeletons of sacrifices. Fact or fiction? I don’t know, and cannot fund the archeological expedition it would take to verify this or not.
How accurate their teachings are, I do question, since they also leave out the role of faith in God, and His ability to hold back evil. I believe that ultimately, God has been in control of human history, not evil.
Q: I’m very concerned about the New World Order scheme and my questions are meant to help me find possible ways to proceed in helping to defeat the scheme.
A: I know I sound cynical, but good luck! I really do wish you the best in this. I believe that it would take a LOT of people joining together, with immense wealth and excellent lawyers, to stop them.
I personally do not have any experience with any groups dedicated to stopping them, since I live in a small rural community and have no contacts of this nature. I do wish any groups dedicated to stopping this horrific abuse of small children the very best, and will pray that they succeed. But this is also a spiritual battle, and anyone who takes on this type of occult evil would also need to be aware of spiritual warfare. The Illuminists certainly use it against others, and anyone stepping into this arena without prayer would be very vulnerable, in my opinion.
Q: Have you considered starting a 12 step group like AA for ritual abusers and cult victims? I know from personal experience that the spiritual 12 step program works.
A: I believe that there are already groups such as this out there. I know that there are AA groups for incest survivors, and many also have branched off into RA [Ritual Abuse] support as well. Since I live in a rural area (population 100 unless you count the squirrels and cows), I would not be close enough to lead any groups such as this. They are usually found near large metropolitan areas. In fact, I drive two hours once a month to therapy, since that is the closest to where I live.
Q: Were you allowed to read and listen to what you wanted while you were in the Illuminati, or was everything censored? If it wasn’t censored, it seems like members could notice that Illuminati teachings about betrayal being a human attribute are false. Right?
A: Wrong. I was never censored what I read, but you have to understand their mind set. As a small child, my parents told me that everyone was secretly a member of this group, and that the daytime was a “facade” or “pretense’ that all maintain.
They would take me to friends’ houses for dinner, and afterwards a ritual would occur, so I believed them. I grew up since infancy believing that this was just how the world operated for all: people act one way in the daytime, another at night. I knew that there was mention of love, caring, and trust in books, but believed it was a “daytime” quality, and that the people who wrote of these things were writing from their daytime personas.
There was a complete and utter division between day and night from my first days of life. To question something, you have to be able to step outside it, and I never had the maturity, or any reason to question the teachings, until I was much older. Think about it. All around were movies reinforcing what the cult taught, the Disney films, etc; I listened to heavy metal groups, whose values echoed what I was taught at night. In fact, outside of Christian literature, there is not much out there that would engender trust in other human beings.
Q: I was shocked to hear you say you were forced to shoot a friend of yours. Are many members forced to shoot or kill someone, or is this just for punishment training? Is it just outsiders who are killed? Are you able to discuss the shooting, or is this too hard to discuss?
A: The friend was not an outsider, she was part of the group, and considered expendable. In this group, people are one of two things: “useful” or “expendable”. Everyone works quite hard to be useful. It is not a common punishment, in fact rare, but my mother was an unusually driven and ambitious person.
She was a head trainer, and sat on the regional council over the Washington DC area in the spiritual seat (the other seats on the council were military, held by her boss at the Pentagon, where she worked, his cult name was “Ashtoth”, a goverment seat, leadership, scholarship, and sciences seats).
Usually, they bring in outsiders for rituals or killing, but this was an unusually harsh punishment to teach me an unforgettable lesson (it did: I never made a friend after that. I didn’t like those higher than me, and had no wish to make friends with those she considered “worthy” of a “leader” and other nonsense).
Very rarely, in military exercises, those who were weak or kept a unit behind consistently were shot to teach the others a lesson (I saw it happen once). This never happened to the children of leaders, only those from lower levels.
Q: You say you begged God for a better home every night, but became embittered against God for not providing it. Were you praying to a benevolent God or to the Illuminati god? If the former, then where did you get your idea of a benevolent God?
A: This is a great question. I was NOT praying to the Iluminati deities, because to me, they were cruel and sadistic and frightening. I was praying to my child’s concept of a good God, from my reading, watching of TV, and also the innate knowledge that all children have in their hearts that somewhere, up there, is a good God.
I also had a few experiences with angels, and being protected as a child during horrendous trauma, and this also formed my concept that good existed. They never actually tried to stop me from praying, since positive spirituality gives hope, and can help prevent suicide.
In fact, I was forbidden to read about or seek any knowledge about the occult in my day life, because otherwise too much would be given to the occult and the risk of suicide would have increased. They are believers in “balance’, even in this area.
Q: You said “Papa Brogan” [see previous article] was the only kind adult in your life growing up. Do you mean he showed you affection? In what way?
A: Dr. Timothy Brogan was a professor at George Washington University. He was a specialist in neuropsychology, and one of the top Illuminati trainers in the DC area. He was also close friends with Sidney Gottlieb (another of my mother’s “friends”).
Anyway, he could be very kind as well as cruel. He would hold me on his lap, call me his “little one”, and praised me highly when I did well. He taught me chess, and would read works of literature to me. He told me I was his “adopted daughter” and that he was proud of me. We would hold intellectual discussions until late at night, and he imparted his views of leadership and training to me. Not all Illuminati activity is cruel or inhumane; he could be caring and loving as well. I would play with his children, who were older than me, and he would patiently answer my questions about science, geography, and other topics. I bonded completely to him, which made the torture and sexual abuse especially painful and betraying.
Q: You say you had a core split, over 7,000 fragments and 16 internal systems. You mean you developed split personalities who weren’t aware of each other? If so, did any of these personalities seem to have a fairly nice life?
A: Yep, split personalities. Most of the people I knew in the Illuminati were fairly fragmented (in fact, I cannot think of anyone who was not dissociative to some degree). Even the local and regional leaders all come in for regular “programming tune ups” as Jonathan and I used to call them. The largest split was between the front and back; ie. daily life and night life. Most, but not all, of the night alters could communicate, or at least the controllers and the higher parts inside could (and relay information to those beneath them). And yes, many of my personalities had a wonderful life. I had 140 created to deal with daytime life, such as work, friends, and fun (who have coalesced).
Many of my back people had good experiences, such as the ones I described above with Dr. Brogan. Others were pampered and praised, told that I would be a leader in the coming “New Order” (of course, they tell everyone that….). I was to be a mediator between governmental figures in different nations because of my language abilities and people mediation skills. Many of my internal parts were quite proud of their abilities and accomplishments in the group, and grieved heavily when I left.
Q: Are the non-German Illuminists not Nazis, racist white supremacists, or genocidal maniacs? And, if the leadership in all countries is Illuminati, that must mean they’re of all races, which seems to mean the white supremacists oppose the non-white Illuminati. Is this right?
A: Not all Illuminist groups are as fanatically anti-racial as the German branch is, although many are. These people are racist in the extreme, but they are also very practical, and realize that world domination is not possible without the aid of non-white races. That is why loyal figures in these countries are being promised leadership positions for their area, under the supervision of Illuminist commanders.
They also view orientals differently than other nonwhite races, because of the long history of occult mysticism in many countries (such as Tibet, for example), the long history of culture, and the high intelligence. This is why the oriental branches are highly regarded, even in Europe. But they do believe that Europe will be the center of world government and leadership.
Even in non-white countries, the top leadership is still white, or nearly so. For example, in South America, the top leaders are European in descent, with less of the mestizo mixing. In Africa, many of the leaders behind the scenes are whites, although there are local black leaders who have demonstrated extreme loyalty. They are using them, though, since these members will never be able to hold top leadership in the world. (Those positions are already taken).
All this said, I believe that the racist and hateful policies of the Illuminati are despicable in the extreme. One of my biggest quarrels with leadership was this position, among others. I hope this has answered some of your questions. – Svali
Several months ago, I sent a questionaire out to the professional community to find out the opinions of therapists who work with ritual abuse. I contacted the ISSD as well as several therapists whom I had heard of in the field. Why? Because I wanted a chance for the dedicated professionals who work in this field to have a chance to speak out, and I was also interested in their opinions.
I have changed all names, and used pseudonyms to protect the identities of these individuals and the clients that they work with. But these are very real people, who often work long hours, at times under threat from outside people, to help survivors break free. I cannot imagine a group of people that I admire more, next to the survivors themselves. The therapists who answered live both in the United States, and several countries around the world.
First I asked what percent of the therapist’s practice was ritually abused clients. The answers varied.
Jenny, a female therapist, answered: Yes.I never figured percentages. I saw several clients whom I suspected were RA but they never claimed memories of such.
Fran, another therapist, stated: Ritually abused clients have made up about 10% of my practice in the past six years. I consider it a sub-specialty.
Joann, who works in a group practice, stated: yes – though many only openly admit to being DID Is this your specialty area of practice? yes It is about 70% of my practice and 100% of my partnert’s practice
Alice states: Yes…usually they do not enter my office and announce that, however. It usually unfolds in the course of therapy, or they are referred following that disclosure. DID is one of my specialty areas of practice. It comprises about 1/5 of my caseload…and at one time was about 1/3.
John states: I work primarily in and with trauma survivors, mainly people over the ages of 35 and split about 45% 55% male to female. Yes I see a number of people who were ritually abused. Of those I work with about 30% were classic ritual abuse survivors…
I then asked: Do you believe your clients when they tell you they were ritually abused? If so, why? The responses were very interesting.
Jenny states: I believe that it is possible that RA memories are true. I cannot determine truth for clients.
Fran makes some points about her client’s memories: I generally believe my clients’ accounts of ritually abuse because:
1. I have obtained very convincing corroborating evidence.
2. Their emotional reactions and psychological symptoms make complete sense in relation to their accounts of abuse.
3. In one of my cases, relatives of the ritual abuse victim were incarcerated for multiple counts of sadistic sexual assault.
4. I am a member of a professional co-supervision group in which my colleagues have also obtained significant clinical and corroborating evidence of ritualistic abuse and mind control programming.
5. I am familiar with the professional research and clinical literature.
There are some aspects of some clients’ accounts that I believe may not be completely accurate, due to abuse perpetrated on drugged clients or deception by their abusers.
Joann shares her opinion: Absolutely. Who would make up those stories???
Alice makes a point here: I have never seen anyone I thought was fabricating. I have also NEVER told anyone of my clients that they “met a profile”, nor have I shared any of the “theories” that were prevalent in our field for awhile regarding conspiracy, programming, etc. I treat their memories with respect and, when needed, assist them in looking at the BEHAVIORS of their abusers and how it was abuse, regardless of the belief system. I see DID as an elaborate defense system involving all levels of personality.
John shares his view: I believe that initially they will tell me what it is that they have to to unburden the past. And they will tell me often times from the child’s prospective in an adult voice. It is variation on the truth. it is how they recall it at the time in my office, and it may not even be close to what happened but it does define the starting gate so to speak and it is my job to help work them through their processes not decern the truth of the matter. I am the professional listener not the detective…. I think many of my contempories get lost here.
I think it is important to note here that contrary to what some vocal groups in the media say, these professionals listen to what the client brings into therapy. They are NOT suggesting memories, instead, they are listening to their clients.
My next question was: What sort of groups are your clients reporting that “ritually abuse”? Are these organized groups with a religious/philosophical base, or are they isolated incidences? Have you seen any common denominators between groups, if this is what is reported? Any elements that make individuals or groups different in how they work?
Jenny states: Satanic cults; Christian sects, U. S. Government Are these organized groups with a religious/philosophical base, or are they isolated incidences? Both Have you seen any common denominators between groups, if this is what is reported? Any elements that make individuals or groups different in how they work? Pedophilia, sadomachistic tendencies
Fran shares from her experience working with survivors: My clients report abuse by Illuminati, KKK, and Fourth Reich. My Illuminati victim also reports abuse by national and international governments. None of my ritually-abused clients have single-incident abuses. All endured long-term abuse within inter-generational Satanism. Some appear to be more motivated by Satan-worship, others by obtaining world power. Common denominators: Satan worship is reported by all clients. Disgusting and horribly painful torture is reported by all, and there is consistency in the specific kinds of torture used, e.g., being hung upside down, skinning people alive, use of hooks, and more that I can not recall right now. Differences: Sexual abuse seems to have been more frequent and the perpetrators appeared to have stronger pedophiliac interests in my survivors of KKK and Fourth Reich than the Illuminati survivor, who appeared to be high up in the power heirarchy, where it appeared more specific to particular rituals. Only the Illuminati survivor reported abuse by political figures.
Joann’s clients also have shared with hertheir experiences with SRA: Most are isolated. some are offshoots of other groups (example – Masonic, Greek orthodox, illuminati) All involve abuse though the type varies – sexual, physical, emotional
Alice’s clients have also shared different types of abuse: A wide range of groups from aryan nation stuff ,to christian groups, to ancient fertility stuff, to the “chinese menu” approach. The only thing they all have in common is the abuse of power and children.
John shares his perspective: Variation on a theme of religion, although I have one at the moment that is focused on healing and not religion… oddly enough, and they as an organization are subject too a major investigation by the local Medical authorities/….
My next question was: Have you ever seen evidence that seems to corroborate client’s stories? Such as bruising/evidence of abuse physically; or testimony of siblings or family members? Threats against yourself from outside members of the group?
Jenny states: 3 clients of different age groups naming same group leader spanning a period of three decades. Also naming same ritual sites. To my knowledge these clients, being in different generations had never met each other.
Fran has also seen corroborating evidence: I have seen corroborating evidence, including mutiple survivors identifying the same perpetrators, and incarceration of perpetrators.I have had numerous phone hang-ups, for periods a few a day. I had one call at midnight – a woman’s voice
said “She’s dead you know, you killed her”. Nobody I know died.
Joann states: Such as bruising/evidence of abuse physically; (physical pain or sensitivities – ie body memories) Changes as a result of access by others including family members(this may be done knowingly or unknowingly). Threats against yourself from outside members of the group? No threats – just being followed
John has received threats because of his work with survivors: By the time that I see people generally speaking the abuse has long since stopped, but I have seen scars that seem to corroborate clients stories. Yes I have had death threats by the acting out brothers of three young ladies who came in for help. Their old brothers who now live as hermits in the bush, threatened to shoot both me and them if and I quote: Anymore talk of this sexual abuse thing keeps going end quote
I want to thank the courageous professionals who shared their opinions in this article. Part two will include: healing from ritual abuse, what helps and what doesn’t.
*Important note: This article does not, and is not meant, to take the place of work with a qualified therapist, which is essential to healing from severe trauma. The comments in this article are in general terms only, and are only opinions.*
Healing. That is the goal in the journey of healing from abuse, and I have a confession to make. The question I asked therapists in this article was totally self serving. I really wanted to hear what they had to say on healing, what helps, and what doesn’t. As a survivor, I was extremely interested in the answers.
Each therapist was careful to say that they were speaking in generalities, that each client is different and unique. That each person’s healing will following the path best for them. But there are some excellent insights that they shared from their observations over the years, and I felt that this deserved an article of its own.
The question I asked was: Which factors have you seen in clients that help them progress in their healing process from ritual abuse? Which factors have you seen that tend to retard progress? (I know this is a complex question, just a few key elements)
Ritual abuse often makes the survivor feel they are worthless, or have no rights. Jenny had some thoughts on this topic:
Aura of spirituality; sense of humor, lack of feelings of entitlement, strong support system Which factors have you seen that tend to retard progress? (I know this is a complex question, just a few key elements) Opposite of the above
Fran had comments based on many hours of work with her clients. Her response shows her commitment, and her client’s commitment, to the healing process:
Factors that facilitate progress:
1. Patience by the therapist.
2. Hard work, journaling, art, between sessions.
3. Having a greater purpose of helping others
4. Having helpful, loving, and protective support persons.
5. A religious base of hope and protection.
6. Valuing both their own knowledge and the suggestions of the therapist.
7. Crying, grieving.
Factors that retard progress
1. Maladaptive relationships
2. Being re-accessed or abducted.
3. Substance abuse
4. Over-dependence, looking for the perfect new mother.
5. Lack of support persons
6. Lack of a religious support network and belief system.
7. Lack of looking inward for answers, over-reliance on the therapist
8. Resistance to crying.
Those who have been ritually abused have often had negative spiritual experiences. Joann shares her perspective that includes her belief system:
Which factors have you seen in clients that help them progress in their healing process from ritual abuse? strong Christian beliefs, strong desire to heal, submission to the healing process Which factors have you seen that tend to retard progress? denial, unwilling or unable to commit time or money, fear, trust issues, emphasis on presenting alters rather than on programming/structures/systems , lone ranger counselors who burn themselves out
Survivors of ritual abuse have often had a multitude of painful betrayals in their lifetime. Alice shares her thoughts on this painful topic:
It always helps to process betrayal…all the betrayals from spiritual to parental. It also helps to label specific behaviors as abuse in the framework of healthy parenting and group dynamics.Sometimes clients have difficulty with their corrupted belief systems as regards themselves…i.e.- “I have no soul”
Survivors of ritual abuse often have difficulty trusting others, and John shares his perspective on this issue:
What helps the most is the solid listening and them coming away from session after session with a strong sense of being listened too. The second mostimportant eliment is to treat the presenting problem properly and that is usually a deep seated depression that masks itself in some other format. ODD or BiP or BPD etc. and to gain releif here and build trust over time….
One of the facinating things that I have found is that in the fourth or fifth year of treatment sometimes the depth of the dissociative aspect jumps out and you have alters in your office who have watched you for a very long time and they can finally trust you to share. I had one lady who had been treated for 8 and half years before I got to her and it was late in our third year when I meet the first alter. The Alters knew the truth of what happened to her and it was ritual abuse by her mom. It went on every day and on several occasions nearly resulted in the clients death, and all this happened per age three. Mom later confirmed this. I had used the principal of the ISH and garnered its support in the healing and the client now 39 has her child back, is holding down a full time job, is in a relationship that she is happy with and is clean and sober drugs and alcohol 6 years..She is on Rx for her depression and probabily will be all the rest of her life… but she is having one now.
I found these responses helpful and insightful. These are caring people, who have invested hours and hours into helping survivors in the often painful, but also rewarding, journey of healing. The fact that they took time from their busy practices to share some thoughts is awesome, and I appreciate and thank each and every one. In my thoughts, these people are heros, along with the people that they help. Ritual abuse is one of the most traumatic abuses to heal from, but the therapists and survivors discussed in these articles are doing just that. Healing.
Breaking Free of the Cult
One of the most important but also one of the most difficult steps that a survivor of generational cult abuse can make is the decision to leave the group that they were raised in.
Those who are naive, or don’t understand the nature of being raised in a group may wonder, “Why would it be hard to leave abusers? Wouldn’t a person WANT to get away?” The reality is a little more complicated, and my hope is that this article will help both survivors, therapists, and support people as well as those who wish to understand ritual abuse have a better idea of the issues that survivors getting out face, as well as some helpful ideas on safety.
BARRIERS TO GETTING OUT:
I want to address these first. This is not to be discouraging, but to help identify the issues involved. If a person understands the obstacles to leaving, they can then begin developing a plan to overcome these problems.
Paramount is PERSONAL SAFETY. Threats against those who try to leave are real, and the person has been conditioned by witnessing the punishment of those who have tried to leave (see my article on how the cult programs people for more info); or even punishment for questioning the group or its leader. The psychological intimidation of a lifetime is real, and the person must be assured of physical safety before they will consider leaving a group that could literally brutally punish them (or worse) for attempting to leave.
It is very, very difficult to consider leaving, or worse yet, to discuss leaving in therapy, then have reporter alters “telling on” the person to the group leaders. This happened to me in San Diego, and the results were devastating. My inside parts who wanted to get out, who were working hard in therapy, were being physically brutalized at night to punish them for talking and remembering. This created a great deal of what therapists call “intrasystem conflict” , to put it mildly. Some parts became hostile at other parts who wanted to leave, and they began punishing them as well. In addition, suicide commands were put in by the head trainer.
The reality is that if a person truly wants to break free, they may become “expendable” in the eyes of the cult, or considered a security risk, and will often be told to suicide. In breaking free, a survivor and their support system needs to be aware of these realities. To not be aware that this is/could be happening will cause therapy to be sabotaged.
Even if the person finds physical safety, other issues need to be addressed as well.
One is ISOLATION. Often in transgenerational groups, the survivor’s entire family of origin, as well as their closest friends, and spouse will be part of the group (the Illuminati arrange almost 100% of their marriages, I have never personally known of a person in the group whose spouse was not also involved, as well as the children.) These members of the immediate family will be the ones most likely to reaccess the survivor. I will give a personal example, again.
When I lived in San Diego, I was in therapy for DID. All that I remembered at the time was a period of three years of ritual abuse with my father and his mother. I thought my mother “rescued” me from him when she divorced him. But my therapy was at a standstill. The more I remembered, the WORSE I became, and decompensated. I would go to therapy, talk, try to help my inside people, then would feel immense panic and fear, as well as suicidal urges afterwards.
It wasn’t until later that I learned that my mother was my cult trainer the first five years of my life; that my husband was taking me back to cult meetings where I was severely punished and programmed to NOT tell in therapy. Once I had physical safety, and broke off contact with cult members, I immediately began stabilizing psychologically. But the price was high. My husband divorced me when I told him I remembered; I told him his cult name, mine and the children’s, thinking he, too would want to get out. Instead, I lost custody of my two children in a long and expensive court battle with a justice system whose attitude was that ritual abuse was a delusion. (Fortunately, 1 1/2 years ago, my ex decided to leave the group, in part because of seeing me alive and well and working full time; and I now have full custody of my children, who are doing well in therapy).
I am sharing this to help people be aware that the price of leaving a transgenerational group may include (although each situation is different):
giving up contact with members of family of origin
giving up contact with close friends (the survivor has often been surrounded by cult members in their social group, including at church; my five closest friends were all members of the Illuminati and I had no idea). Often “cult twins” are best friends in day time life
learning that a spouse and children are all members
The enormous psychological pain of giving up these relationships will often make it difficult for the survivor, but if they continue in them, the chances of being reaccessed are great. MOST REACCESSING OF THE SURVIVOR COMES FROM MEMBERS OF THEIR IMMEDIATE FAMILY. This is one of the hardest tasks for the survivor to attempt as he or she learns good boundaries. What those boundaries need to be will differ from person to person, and their individual situation.
Another real, and powerful pull back to the cult, will come from the perception that NEEDS inside the person are being met by the group. The person will likely be dissociative, if they have been raised in a transgenerational group, and they will often have alters inside who have never known or experienced the abuse, who will be considered “high alters” inside.These part’s reality is that they were praised and told that they were special, often unaware or not caring that other alters inside endured the abuse. These higher alters may identify strongly with their perps and are often the alters that want recontact with the group and help drive internal recontact programming.
Frequently, when a person leaves a cult group, there is a real period of grieving. Social relations have been changed. Alters with special needs will feel that their needs are no longer being met, whether for belonging, for sexual activity, for power, or other personal agendas. The survivor needs to recognize this reality. A person will often unconsciously recontact a group if they believe that deep needs are being met by this group. Teaching themselves to meet their needs in a healthy and appropriate way will take time and patience, working with a qualified safe therapist who understands ritual abuse.
There may be PROGRAMMING to recontact the group. The survivor will need to identify if this is present, and take steps with the help of their therapist and support system to deactivate it.
IDEAS ON BREAKING FREE
While breaking free can be difficult, as I have discussed above, it is possible to escape a cult group and maintain personal safety. I will share from both my personal experience and that of other survivors things which have proven helpful in breaking free.
1. Safe outside accountability:
If the person attempting to break free can live with someone who is NOT a member of the group, who is a safe person, that will increase their own personal safety exponentially. Cult members from groups such as the Illuminati will hesitate to harrass or try to access someone while they are with a safe person, one who is not dissociative. One of the most dangerous set ups is when a survivor is living alone, or in isolation, or if they talk long walks at night or in areas where there are no people around. Abductions, kidnappings, or reaccessing may occur in these situations. The more safe outside accountability the survivor sets up, the less chance that this will occur. This could mean a safe roomate who is not dissociative; staying with members of a church, finding a safe house, or even a women’s shelter (although there are reports that some shelters and safe houses are being infiltrated by cult members; the survivor needs to be cautious in where they go and whom they trust). One grievous problem today is the relative lack of safe houses for people trying to break free of the cult.
One precaution: often survivors will quickly make friends with other survivors, since they feel isolated and alone without the cult group. The survivor may want to exercise caution about rushing into friendships, since many survivors, especially at the beginning of their therapeutic process, may still be in contact with a cult group. Each person will need to make decisions on an individual basis in this area to maintain safety.
2. A good therapist:
There are excellent therapists who specialize in working with ritual abuse. While qualifications among therapists will vary, a survivor can try locating one by contacting reputable people in the field for referrals, by contacting the ISSD (link is on the welcome page for my articles), or by referral from people the survivor trusts. Not all therapists who advertise that they work with DID are safe, but if the survivor checks out references and asks careful questions, their chances of finding a good therapist will be higher. I have personally had therapists who worked with DID who ranged from : a pastor in San Diego who told me he could “integrate me” in 3 months if I had enough faith (this did NOT happen and was completely unrealistic); a therapist who was the referral for a national christian counseling group for DID who told me that her brother had tortured her as a child, and that I was not DID because she, the therapist, often “lost time” and went through personality changes and SHE wasn’t DID (I stopped seeing her after two visits); a therapist associated with a ritual abuse and trauma program who was very knowledgeable, compassionate, and helpful. The last one, needless to say, was the only helpful one in my healing process! A good therapist will be knowledgeable about DID and ritual abuse; will BELIEVE the survivor and not discount memories shared; will help the survivor with achieving inter-system communication; and will have good boundaries. A therapist like this is well worth the time and effort it will take to locate, and can help the survivor immensely in the process of breaking free of cult control.
3. Stopping telephone access:
The telephone is one of the first avenues used to access someone trying to leave the cult. Hang up calls; calls with tones played, or with a tape or hidden message, will be used. Also, survivors often have recontact programming to phone their trainer or family members. One way to deal with this: take the telephone and lock it in the trunk of the car. This way, if a part of the survivor tries to get up in the middle of the night and make a phone call, they will have to find the car keys; unlock the trunk, plug the phone in,and make the call. Hopefully, the survivor will have time to “switch out” another part who will stop the call, especially as they work in therapy to block cult access.
Use of caller i.d.; answering services, or an answering machine (calls can be checked with a therapist or support person present in case an access message is left) can also help prevent phone access. Eventually, the survivor will find the parts inside with a vested interest in recontact, and can negotiate with them not to call or recontact. An unlisted phone number may help for a short period of time. Phone numbers can also be blocked to prevent calls from certain numbers, such as those of known perps.
4. Alarm systems:
Some survivors will have alarm systems to prevent unauthorized entry into their home. Again, this is best combined with a safe living situation, as described above. These alarm systems can also be coded by an outside safe person so that the survivor themself cannot decode it if internal parts try to leave in the middle of the night.
5. Share info with safe outsiders:
This could be a lock box with names of perps, and information, which the safe person will distribute if the survivor is harmed or access is attempted. The survivor can then mail a letter to this effect to known perps, to help prevent accessing or abducting of the survivor.
6. Go public
Some survivors have chosen to go public to maintain safety. The thought is that if they are harmed, they have shared enough info that an investigation will be done into the causes, and the cult group will risk further exposure, which they hate. Sharing information with law enforcement, with legal advisors, therapists, social workers, and child protective services can all also help maintain safety, IF the law enforcement officers, etc. are not members of the group. The problem here is that at times, cult members will infiltrate legal and law enforcement organizations, even CPS, to prevent cult members from escaping. The survivor will need to go to reputable, known safe people, if they choose to go this route.
7. Work on undoing recontact programming
This will take time, with a qualified therapist. It means looking at the trauma that placed the programming in, a difficult task psychologically. It will also mean addressing the powerful needs addressed above as well, and grieving when contact with cult members is stopped.
8. Prayer support
As a Christian, I believe that this can be a survivor’s strongest protection. A strong, supportive faith system, and prayers for safety can protect the survivor during the spiritually and emotionally trying times while breaking free of the cult.
These are just a few ideas on breaking free. Many, many survivors have broken free, and have used their creativity and strength, as well as the help of noncult members who wish to help, to maintain safety. My hope is that this article will be a beginning place for both survivors and their support people and therapists to look at maintaining safety. I welcome any comments or andecotes on ideas that other survivors and support people have found for maintaining safety.
copyright 2000 svali